Never Count On Tomorrow, (final post)


January 8th,1987

It has been a while since she last had time to write, and when she did she really didn’t feel like it.

Christmas has been over for a while now and she finally took the tree down. She left it up as long as she could, she knew it would be the last one that she would remember for the rest of her life. She needed the space where the tree was standing for cartons of personal items she had already packed. She never fully decorated the house for Christmas this year, she just didn’t have the heart. She felt accomplished with the fact she got the tree up at all.

She paid a rent referral service $90.00 to help her find another place to live. Her spirits rose when the referral service called with a place to look at. I need 3 bedrooms this place had two and was $400.00 a month plus. Well that one didn’t work out.

Everyone is still working in their own private areas of packing up their individual possessions.

It’s been 18 days since she was told she had to move her family. What will she get into today. She packed her clothes from the bedroom making sure to keep boxes separate  from her hubby s’. She still has to do the kitchen. She hates to pack pot and pans and stuff that don’t fit into boxes neatly.

She worked in the basement for quite a while. She couldn’t stay in one room for too long it was just too much to handle sometimes.

Wed. January 14th,

She has been deeply depressed for a few days now crying more and more while trying not to upset the family. Especially her son. She will miss her very best friend who used to live with them for a little while. She loves this girl like a daughter. Her friend is strong when she needs to be, but I know she has a soft heart.

She felt that the burden of finding a home for everyone was completely with her. She can’t let go of this place long enough to hit the streets to find another. Her family has been keeping their distance, giving her room to breathe. The tears are returning more and more often. It’s so hard for her to stop them sometimes.

Sun. January 31 st

She hasn’t written in a while, she has been so tied up with finding a home. She has 30 days from today to get the family relocated. She still has no idea where it will be. Nothing will compare to what she is leaving behind. But she has to keep up the faith that she will find something for the 5 family members.

There has been a drawback to every call she’s made. Up until now no-one will accept pets, not enough bedrooms, rooms are too small in ratio to rental price. Security deposits for everything including leaving fingerprints on the doorknobs.

Fri. February 13th

It’s been 53 days since she has been packing and hitting the streets to find the family a suitable house. She calls it a ‘House’ because whatever and wherever it will be it won’t be a home. Her life as she knew it is over. She has decided to leave this home in great condition. For a long time she has had periods of total anger at having  to move her family, it was during these times she decided to leave everything she couldn’t take and let the ‘cock-roach’ of a landlord deal with it. But fortunately those times were far and few between and she decided to leave it in good and clean condition. She did take everything from the home even the curtain rod hooks and the light bulbs in the ceilings, that was her anger speaking again.

On this day she found the family a suitable place to live. It’s an old farmhouse with 3 bedrooms up and a full bath. Living room, dining room,kitchen and full pantry and 1/2 bath downstairs.The stairways leading to the second floor were pie wedged shape and ‘nothing big’ could go up that way. All of the furniture had to be  taken up a ladder to the second floor where there was a window especially made for taking large things up stairs. Her hubby and son must love her a whole lot to climb that ladder carrying heavy furniture. To this day she still can’t believe they did it. Her thoughts went to getting it all back out if they had to move again.

She still has 17 days left and she is not looking forward to leaving. She paid $2,175 to get into the new place. There was no refrigerator so that was $700. She is not complaining because she knows there are some people who wouldn’t have enough money to make a move like this.

She never really moved in, she had boxes and boxes of stuff that she never put out in the new place. The rent was $800.00 and that didn’t include water/sewage, oil every month, and electric, just to name a few. Her old rent was $250.00 per month all inclusive.

She was able to keep the family together at the new place for about 3 years at which time she and hubby moved 200 miles away to the mountains. That’s when her depression really got bad. She left her family behind and her yearning for them was great.But that is another story.

She is so please she had the forethought to keep a journal from the beginning of her downward spiral.

She truly hopes she has not offended anyone by writing this post, these are her thoughts and she likes them.

Thank you if you are reading this and God bless.

Never Count On Tomorrow (post 1)


Thursday Jan, 1, 1987

It’s 7 AM, New Years Day. The holidays are over for the time being.

They were successful during rifle season in the mountains of Pa this year. Getting venison sure saves on grocery bills.

The lives of her family are totally scarred by the manner she has been asked to vacate the premises. they’ve rented this house for 10 years . They’ve made lasting friends in the area. But the house was sold and will be turned into apartments.

Just one fine day on December 22nd she answered the phone to find her new landlord on the other end, he wanted to tell her” you have 60 days in which you must remove all personal property from your home”.

She cried off and on for a long while that day. She had to tell the family we have to move through no fault of our own. She told the family and friends she had living with her, “if you see me crying please don’t acknowledge it”.

She had to find another place to live. The rent she paid was $250 a month and all places even close to what she had is over $800 not counting utilities and oil.

Her mind goes and goes. Thinking of everything and nothing.She hurts inside, she yearns for another Christmas and New Year here. But she knows this is not possible.

Today she starting to clean out drawers and closets.

We are all holding up pretty good I think. But she worries  all the time about where we’re they are going to live.

Christmas was the best this year. The family members were as close to being one unit as they’ll ever be.

Abandoned Little Girls Bike!

8512d3661e77fb4f5fa60c5e213735e0Me and Aunt Theresa went to the Kmart store in Williamsport Pa. yesterday. We took the back way into the store because of traffic on Third Street. That’s when I saw a little girls pink bicycle laying on its side in a pile of dead leaves and rubbish.

I can’t seem to get the image out of my mind. The more it pops up in my head the more I want to find out what happened to the little girl who left it there or why she would just drop it there.

It’s a little bicycle, something an eight or nine year old would ride. So I’m thinking why would a child of that age be in the area of the bicycle. My imagination is running amuck!

Sometimes, not all the time, I get sensations from something I see. I’m not getting good sensations from this image.

Here it is a day later and I’m still questioning why, what happened to her and when.

I called the Williamsport Police Department and told them about the bike. I said “I don’t know if we have any missing children in Williamsport”. “It just seems odd that the little girls bike would be where it is”. They said they would look into it.

I probably will never find out what the story is with the little girl’s bike. I just pray it is a mistake that it was left there. Maybe someone stole it from her house and left it there. Okay for now that is what I will think because it’s the easiest for me to be satisfied with.

I returned to Kmart today with Aunt Theresa and I went in the back way even though the traffic was light. Aunt Theresa looked at me and said “you’re going to see if that girl’s bike is still there aren’t you?” “I’m just curious”, I said. The bike was gone and now I wonder if the Williamsport Police took it or what.

Thanks For Reading if you know anything about this please let me know.

Where I Like To Write

I like to write sitting at my desktop but that is not always possible. Right now I’m able to write at my desktop because hubby and his Aunt Theresa are off running errands downtown.

Aunt T has been with us since October 18th. She’s recovering from Pancreatitis and Gall stones. She just turned 88.  So there is a hospital bed about 30 feet from my desktop, the sound on the TV is riveting, the dogs are demanding to go out, it’s almost time to start lunch or dinner for everyone and I’ve got a load of clothes going in the washer. But for right now I can enjoy writing this article without interruptions from second party needs.

493ss_thinkstock_rf_photo_of_senior_woman_using_laptop_in_bedAll of this  means I like to write at my desktop, but I do the bulk of my writing in bed when the day is done using my laptop. Aunt T is snuggled in her bed. She needs nothing but sleep. Hubby is asleep snoring through his nose cannula and not needing anything more for the day. The dogs are snuggled as close to me as they can get without disturbing my laptop and the TV is tuned into FOX News just in case something happens in the world I don’t want to miss.

I’m not As obsessed as I Was!


I’ve resigned myself to the fact I’ve lost my Yahoo identity.  I’m locked out of Facebook I’m assuming it’s due to security. I have no problem with that. They have to keep the accounts of each one of us secure.

It took some doing to get my email changed. First ‘THERE IS NO WAY TO TALK TO A HUMAN BEING AT YAHOO’. Every freaking  phone number associated with Yahoo has been disconnected. “Hey just like my emails”.

I gave up on getting the email address back. I have a Gmail set up for my blogging. But Yahoo and Facebook wouldn’t send me information to Gmail to reset my password or change primary email at Yahoo. They didn’t recognize my gmail. In retrospect I’m kinda glad they wouldn’t. It shows me how high their security wall is. When I can get reunited with family and friends on Facebook that security is going to feel really good.

We figured “Yahoo must still be there because hubby still had his Yahoo account”. He logged out of his account and from that page I could create a new account that both Yahoo and Facebook could  recognize.

I’ve settled down quite a bit. I’m not as obsessed with how to fix what happened. I Had to let it go. Of course I’ll be changing primary emails and passwords for quite some time.

Hey Thanx again for stopping by!


Hey? Yahoo? Where’s All My Stuff?

default_htm_txt_mailboxYahoo you’ve been my mailbox for over 20 years.  You’re not there anymore. Verizon bought your mailing lists and all of my personal information. I feel like someone moved My House!

Well that’s how I feel right now. you’ve disconnected my account because of something that went wrong ‘on your end’. You’re not forwarding my mail any more. Do you have any Idea how many times I’ve dropped you name in 20 years. You have no real   conception of how devastated I’ve become.

Yahoo was my window to the world of people who have part of my ADLs  (Activities of Daily Living). Everywhere I shop had your forwarding address on it. Where I bank had your forwarding address on it. Where I socialize and where I blog had your forwarding address on it

But since the buy out with Verizon, and the second hacking news you have disappeared into cyber space leaving me without an identity or a forwarding address.

Like most other people I used my Yahoo account to log into every website I visited in the course of the day. I can’t get into my accounts online to make the necessary change in my email. I can’t use ‘forgot password’ because I can’t open my email in Yahoo. I no longer have access to my mail account,. I can feel the anxiety building as I write this. Is this identity theft? Who stole it? Hackers or Yahoo for just shutting me down without giving me notice to do something about my inbox full of emails.

I contacted my internet provider Verizon with my troubles. They were nice to deal with, I didn’t have to say, ‘ I’m sorry could you repeat that please’. I spent a little over an hour with Verizon and in the end I had all of my passwords that were stored in Chrome accidently deleted by the agent helping me. I seen her check that box to clear cache files and I screamed at my monitor display. ‘No! Then they were gone. It was through Verizon that I found out that my email had been Disconnected. I could almost cry when I write those words.

I’ve hit a brick wall and I have to find a way around it. Or over it. I guess I’ve got to open new accounts each time with a new email address. Not to mention my family who know me as

Thanks for stopping by

Things I Wish

winter-scenes-10I wish I could be here to see what choices my great grand baby will make for her future. Will she follow her Momma into Psychology or will it be something else.

I wish I could take me and my sister to England. She loves the Royal Family, it started with Princess Dianna. She Loves Princess Dianna’s grandchildren as they were her own.

I wish I would have been more of a “Parent” to my son. When I hear someone say “you’re not your child’s friend”.” You’re their parent”,” act that way”, I just cringe because they’re right. My Son says “no mom”, “we would’ve fought throughout my whole time growing up”. Maybe he is right because we are true friends today.

I wish I would win a lot of money.

I wish I had a bathroom downstairs in this old farmhouse

I wish I had 50 acres of land completely fenced in so I could rescue the cats and dogs. Make homes for them and let them run free. I wish if I had this land, I would have the strength to maintain it.

I wish I had the strength to pack up this old farmhouse, sell it, and live in a double wide with 2 baths.

I wish the people of our United States would come together with hope for our future as a nation.

I wish the liberals would please stop with the negativity and let the people rest.

I wish I wasn’t so lax when taking care of my health. I can’t get away and stay away from sugar.

I wish I could get my blog to more people and not be afraid of loosing money.